Chicago lawyer talks life after Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’

The notion of teaching them to adjust is at the crux of her process, as she works with entire families to find the right partner for their would-be brides and grooms. In some ways, the show is a modern take on arranged marriage, with contemporary dating horrors like ghosting and lacking the skills for a meet-up at an ax-throwing bar. But issues of casteism, colorism and sexism, which have long accompanied the practice of arranged marriage in India and the diaspora, arise throughout, giving viewers insight into more problematic aspects of Indian culture. As an Indian-American girl growing up in Upstate New York, one part of my culture that was especially easy to brag about was weddings. They were joyful and colorful, and they looked more like a party than a stodgy ceremony. While living under the same roof in quarantine, my mom and I have had a lot of time to watch buzzy Netflix shows together. But I was hesitant to invite her to watch Indian Matchmaking with me, knowing her marriage to my dad was arranged.

People who are offended by ‘Indian Matchmaking’ prove its point

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Enter your mobile number or email address below and we’ll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer – no Kindle device required. And what we learn to value in these cultural environments stays with us for life. Even if we leave our family, community and our nation we never fully leave their cultures behind”. Yahya R. Kamalipour In today’s society, the Internet and its possibilities have had an increasing influence in our daily life.

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What ‘Indian Matchmaking’ gets wrong — and right

The Netflix hit “Indian Matchmaking” has stirred up conversations about issues like parental preference in marriage, cultural progress, casteism — and ghosting. Taparia answered questions via email from Mumbai, discussing why none of the matches worked out, her own arranged marriage and how business is booming despite the coronavirus pandemic. Sima Taparia: They are not separate things. Matchmaking is just a tool to help people find a life partner.

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And for good reason — for centuries, strategically planned marriages allowed the wealthy and elite to retain their social standing, property and family businesses for generations. Marrying for love was pure fantasy and relegated to works of popular fiction. Respectable behavior and strict courtship rituals were the hallmarks of Victorian romance. Absolutely no physical contact was allowed until the couple became engaged, and gifts were limited to impersonal gestures like flowers, chocolate or a book.

Emotional intimacy was expressed primarily through love letters. Dance halls and theaters encouraged group socializing between men and women, and dating became a way to build popularity and social standing. Certain behavioral norms — for example, men should pay for dates, dating many different people before marriage — became popular. Rapid industrialization across the US meant opportunity for more leisure time, too, producing a nationalized culture and popular media in the form of magazines, radio programs and scholarly journals.

And because dating no longer followed the same rigid rules of Victorian courtship, everyone from members of the clergy to social scientists, educators and newspaper columnists stepped in to offer dating advice and matchmaking services. Lori Polemenakos is an award-winning journalist and the former senior editor at Match. Michael Mellini is the communications coordinator at Goodman Theatre. He has worked as a contributor for Broadway. Club and Ship to Shore Productions.

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Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption.

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Netflix documentary sparks a debate about arranged marriages. Through an ensemble cast of astrologers, face readers, priests, prospective grooms, brides, and parents armed with endless lists of demands on caste, height and skin color, viewers are taken on a voyeuristic tour of the complicated process of matchmaking in India, where 10 million nuptials take place every year. The controversial series has triggered multiple memes, jokes and criticism on social media.

It is also polarizing public opinion among those who prefer love marriages and those who endorse arrangements. In the process, however, the biggest casualty has been nuance, with not even a nod to the golden middle path. When I got married, my husband and I were introduced through senior family members. We dated for six months to test our compatibility before getting married on Feb.

So was ours a love marriage? Or arranged? I’d say a nice blend of both.

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Follow ambazaarmag. The Neflix hit show romanticizes and normalizes customs, practices, thinking and behavior that have no place in a civilized society. My origin story starts with my father meeting my mother in her bucolic village in coastal Kerala nearly 24 years ago. Needless to say, the meeting was arranged by my two late grandfathers. As a second generation immigrant living in the United States, the concept of arranged marriages is an antiquated one to me.

We have often wondered how any of us would react if were in a situation where we would be choosing a spouse through an arranged marriage. I am aware that, till the dawn of the 20th century, much of humanity chose their partners through arranged marriages. Even now, the practice remains popular in many parts of the world. Matchmaking has no problem in keeping your attention. In what I think is a stroke of genius, the show introduces one of its two most infuriating characters in its opening minute.

The two women discuss everything that Akshay — really his mother — is looking for in an ideal spouse. When Sima asks Akshay how he is, the grown man remains completely silent as the camera pans to a wide shot and playful music plays, resulting in about four seconds of the most awkward television watching I have ever experienced.

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Facebook plays matchmaker with new dating feature. Facebook Dating launched in the U.S. on Thursday and gives users the chance to “make it.

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Sima Taparia of ‘Indian Matchmaking’ on family dynamics, ghosting and failed matches

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‘Indian Matchmaking‘ joins Netflix’s growing stable of dating shows like families in India and America to find desirable mates for marriage.

It might seem strange to invoke an Alice Walker essay in connection with the new Netflix reality series, Indian Matchmaking , but, here we go. The essay is revolutionary for that coinage. Walker explicitly draws a connection between skin color and marriage. Walker tells us two smaller, adjoining stories, about herself and a friend in their single days. In the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking , the importance of skin color arrives quickly in talk of matrimony, as do other facets of packaged appearance, the sorts that indicate a notion of a stratified universe: This level of education matches with this one, this shade of skin with this, this height with this, these family values with these, this caste with this, this region with this, and so on.

In the series, she takes on clients in India and America, young desi men and women who seem, for all their desire to get properly paired off, equally conflicted about the whole endeavor. The women work and travel; they like their lives and have friends who offer the sort of support a spouse might. All seem to want, at some level, simple, non-transactional, unconditional affection.

At the same time, they talk in transactional terms. The series leaves us with a somewhat haunting vision, an echo of a refrain repeated throughout the show, but one that lands louder with our final subject. Richa is the child of immigrants to America and speaks with a generic American flatness.

“Millionaire Matchmaker” Patti Stanger Gives Hollywood Dating Advice


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